Punks - A One Act Play

The following work is based on a true story. The names have been changed to protect the identities of the victims.

Interior: A modest, pre-fab home. The living room bleeds into the dining room. The kitchen is just off the dining room. Everything is very orderly and clean.

CALVIN has just returned home from work. He puts his bike away slowly, sets down his bag slowly, and slowly goes to the kitchen to say hello to his wife, LORAINE.

LORAINE
Hello dear. (kiss on the cheek) How was your day?

CALVIN
It was fine.

LORAINE
What's the matter, sweetie? You seem blue?

CALVIN
Oh. It was just these punks...

LORAINE
Punks!? Oh my goodness. Are you all right? What happened?

CALVIN
I'm fine. Would you mind fixing me a scotch, dear?

LORAINE
Dinner will be ready in a jiffy. Why don't you have a seat on the davenport, and you can tell me all about it.

CALVIN moves to the couch, and removes his shoes. LORAINE follows shortly and hands him a drink.

LORAINE
There. Now, why don’t you tell me all about it?

CALVIN
I was leaving the art gallery, I turned out of the doorway, and there they were⎯two punks walking toward me! They were awful. They were wearing combat boots, and dressed all in tight black clothes in the middle of the day, and they had on leather jackets, and metal bracelets, and I think they had cut their own hair! They looked like twin Satans just strolling down Central Avenue, pleased as pie. I swear to God, Loraine, I thought I was a goner. They were heading right toward me!

LORAINE
What did you do?

CALVIN
Well, I got out of there. I leapt on to my bike, right there on the sidewalk, and peddled off as fast as I could. You should have seen me, Loraine.

LORAINE
Thank goodness you’re ok!

CALVIN
Thank goodness for those gymnastics lessons I took as a boy! Then, as I’m speeding away, one of them yells, “Going to Starbucks?”

LORAINE
Really? How did he know that Starbucks is your favorite kind of coffee?

CALVIN
I don’t know, honey. Maybe it was a lucky guess. But I didn’t want to chance it, not with those guys on my tail, so I just came straight home.

LORAINE
Do you think we should call the police?

CALVIN
I’ve thought about it, but I don’t think they actually did anything wrong.

LORAINE
But they might! If they’re going around town, following people to and from restaurants, that must be against the law.

CALVIN
Maybe. Though, I think they were probably just trying to give me a good scare.

LORAINE
But, why?

CALVIN
Because they’re punks, Loraine, and that’s how punks are supposed to act.

LORAINE
But, why would anyone want to harass you? You’re a successful gallery assistant.

CALVIN
Exactly.

LORAINE
Well, I just think it’s mean.

CALVIN
Yes, we’ll probably never understand their behavior. I suppose that’s the way they want it.

LORAINE
Well, I’m just glad you’re ok.

LORAINE pats CALVIN’S cheek, and gets up to finish dinner.

CALVIN
Me too, sweetie. What’s cookin?

LORAINE
Pot roast.

CALVIN
Wonderful…


THE END