Me, A Cause For Celebration

Newton: Proof that the brain has an off switch.

If anyone is even still paying attention, I am pleased to announce that Life, the Universe, & Everything has limped across the finish line of its second year in existence as of this week. It wasn't a great year, writing-wise, but I managed to contribute something at the staggering pace of more than once a month (on average, not the past few months). To those of you who count on me, indeed look up to me, I am very, very sorry. I will try to do better. And to those of you who have stood by me and encouraged me to keep writing, even though you obviously have better things to do, I sincerely thank you. Without your cajolery, I would probably write even less.

Despite my previous prediction of a more stable, more predictable year, the 2008-09 season was, in many ways, one of the most erratic and difficult years the Photos family has yet encountered.

For starters, we got rid of our car, and this has impacted us in ways we could not have imagined. In truth, we drove so little, it is almost the same as before, except in the winter when it is freezing (or at least in the high 30's) and there are no groceries in the house because a person can only carry so much in a backpack. Or when we run out of dog food and we have to try to get 25 pounds of compressed chicken parts to balance between our shoulder blades (leaving no room for groceries). Or we want to get out of town for the day and go hiking in the beautiful mountains. Or my wife has to have surgery or something. On those days, it sucks. But most of the time, I don't miss auto ownership at all. Our legs and lungs are in fantastic shape. By October, I doubt I'll even be sweating through my jeans anymore.

Next, I need to admit that I achieved a milestone this year by turning 30, which I celebrated by immediately registering as a Republican. Boo, taxes!

Turning 30 wasn't as jarring as I imagined it would be. I don't feel "old," but it certainly made me feel like I've wasted a lot of time. I don't have anything inspiring or philosophical to add to that, like that I learned my lesson and discovered a newfound self-discipline. I didn't. I guess I'm just excited that I managed to retain my will to live, something that was exemplified by my sudden adoption of a puppy.

His name is Newton, and he is extremely sweet and very slow to learn the house rules. I will not lie, raising a puppy has been a struggle. I'd like to blame it on the fact that he had been a stray, and all the behavioral problems that can entail, but I really think that I am not cut out for dog training. I read The Dog Whisperer, and it makes a lot of sense to me, but when I have already told the dog not to pull the leash over 100 times and then he runs into the street after his arch-nemesis, skateboarders, I get pretty bent out of shape. I don't like to yell at him, but I'm afraid he doesn't respond to reasonable commands at reasonable volumes. Soon after we got him, our neighbor stopped to say hello.

"You got a new dog, did ya?"
"Yes. He's a bad boy," Darby said lovingly.
"Yeah. That's what we hear."

In observance of my civic responsibilities, I played dual roles this year, first as a member of the Nielsen family, which was great fun, and then as a person who was not able to shirk jury duty. I am extremely sorry that this was neither mentioned nor blogged about at the time, but it actually caused a sort of mental unraveling that resulted in a life-altering decision. (Sound ominous? Good, it was.) Let me just promise that my experience as a member of the court system will one day appear as a story. Until then, I advise you to just keep trying to get out of it. It was awful.

More awful still was when we thought that Darby might have cancer... A few days after my birthday, Darby was admitted to the hospital where she had lumps removed from both breasts. It was outpatient surgery, and Darby came through it completely fine, but we still had to wait a few days before we knew what we were dealing with. Thankfully, the lumps were not cancerous and a follow-up appointment revealed no further growths. To Sharon and Fred, who came out to be with us during the procedure, I just want to say thank you again for your support. It was very nice having you around for such a scary event. And to all our friends and relatives who called or wrote to us, it means a lot to know that you are out there thinking of us.

Since Darby didn't have cancer, we realized that we had been given a wonderful opportunity to wreck our lives in some other way, and so I decided to go back to school.

Of course, many of you know that my lifelong dream is to become a nurse so that I can murder senior citizens. And while I have tried to be very positive regarding this turn of events, putting a brave face on my already pretty brave face, I should tell you that my return to school has been tough on everyone.

I've had to relearn how to be a student, taking on a whole new set of subjects, and I've had to study harder than I ever have in my life. As an art student, homework was completed leisurely in the evenings, accompanied by music and perhaps mind-altering substances. It was rigorous, but it was relaxing and often social. Whereas in order to pass Anatomy, I would study for 8-12 hours a week. Compared to reading a textbook about Microbiology, lying on my bed and doing a painting of Yoda just seems quaint. However, despite my hectic class schedule, I managed to get a 4.0 GPA over two semesters. I officially apply for the nursing program this September.

Of course, I had help. With little warning (or the money a person might save prior to making such a decision), I decided to quit my job. This would put more than a little pressure on my poor wife, who was suddenly thrust into the role of breadwinner (and this after beating cancer!). It meant cutting back our expenses like crazy. It meant living hand to mouth, again, again. It meant that nothing catastrophic could happen, and nothing unexpected could happen, and that we would be back to sneaking by on a strict budget with about half the money we were used to. And I want to tell you that Darby rose to the occasion. Every morning she got up and went to work so that I could stay at home and study. She literally worked to put me through school, like an old-fashioned story. She gave me the opportunity to concentrate on my education, and finish my class loads in as short a time as possible. Because of her, I completed 21 credit hours of science courses in only two semesters, and I just want you to know how proud I am, and how lucky I am to have her. There are moments that you just know will be the stories you tell your children and your grandchildren, and this is one of them—the time Mommy worked so that Daddy could become a nurse. I mean, how clichéd can you get?

On a brighter note than cancer and poverty, the job market suddenly looked favorably upon me. After 7 months of fruitlessness and unreturned phone calls, in a span of about two weeks I was offered three jobs! Next week, I resume my place in the ivory tower of academia as a photography instructor at UNM. It has been 6 years since I last taught, but I have had time to prepare myself and catch up on some of the new technologies. By the way, what is a jay peg?

Perhaps even more surprising than being contacted to teach was the email I got inviting me to send some writing samples. After a little back and forth, I was offered a weekly column at the Santa Fe Reporter, mostly due to this very blog! Fortunately they didn't seem to notice/or else mind the infrequency with which I post, or the fact that I have never had a writing job. My editor was extremely positive and before my first day he sent me a short email that said only, "Remember to have fun." Needless to say, I graciously accepted. My reviews come out Wednesdays at sfreporter.com, so be nice to me or I will abuse my power and turn you into a laughingstock.

And of course, Darby and I recently celebrated our sixth anniversary together. (Oof. That does make me feel old). As you have just read, our resolve was tested this year, and I am glad to say that our resolve passed. We still have some hard times ahead of us, since I still have four semesters of nursing school to complete, but I am extremely thankful that I have someone to go through it with.

To all of you, thank you for reading.

-John