A New Decade, An About Face

Why so serious?

As mentioned in my previous post, the Photos family has made a few changes in the early days of the new year, but I thought that I could elaborate somewhat for those of you who do not live inside my head.

For starters, I am suddenly, currently unemployed. Yes, while the financial sector is taking a beating and laying off workers at an alarming rate, I voluntarily left a job. Without going into the details here, suffice it to say that there was a disagreement, one that I viewed as symptomatic of a larger (and ongoing) problem, and while I think the situation could have ended differently I was just as glad to give up my salary in order to have my self-respect.* In light of the incident, I decided to use my newfound freedom as an opportunity to change directions, and the immediate choice was school.

As many of you know, I have tinkered with the idea of changing careers for some time. Firefighter, Public School Teacher, Zoo Keeper, Professional Chess Player, Professional Poker Player, Carpenter, Organic Farmer. But for one reason or another, these just didn't seem practical. It was only after looking into a Paramedic program that I thought about Nursing.

At first I was discouraged because I believed it would be 4 more years of schooling since I took nary a science course during the previous 6 years (thanks a lot, art school), but after speaking with some advisors and my Uncle Jay (a professional nurse) I learned that I could complete a Nursing degree in only 4 semesters. Well, I went out and purchased some white clogs that very day.

Classes began last week. I was able to test out of the prerequisite courses and launch directly into the advanced science classes, of which there are 2 semesters. After that I can apply to the Nursing program, for which there is a waiting list. So, you can see that this is a protracted process, but one that I believe will be very fulfilling and provide me with a lifelong career that I can be proud of. Wish me luck.

...

P.S. - I apologize for the serious tone of this post. It was meant to be informative and factual. For those of you who expect to be entertained, I will try to do better next time. In the meantime, check out this person's excellently weird nurse drawings. You have to scroll down somewhat.

* It was only after I quit that I realized that my self-respect had long ago become the property of a girl I liked in high school. Bygones.

Diary of a College Student #1

Portrait of the Artist in the Near Future, Hopefully

8:15 am

I am sipping coffee and worrying. Today is the placement exam I have been studying for since I quit my job. I am wearing a pastel-checked shirt under a brown v-neck sweater. As I was dressing I decided that if I look bookish it might boost my score. I see a similar thought process in the minds of my classmates who wear Lakers' jerseys.

I have already taken the test once, and failed as you may have surmised, so this is my last chance. If I fail again I will have to take Biology and Chemistry classes. I only failed by 5 points last time, and the extent of my studying was that I had taken these courses in High school, and I watch Jeopardy, so I am cautiously optimistic that hours of studying will give me an edge.

That is a lie. I will be crushed if I don't pass. Not only because it will set my plan back an entire semester, but also because it is expensive to buy books, especially if you have already read parts of them. If I don't pass, my very immediate goal will be to not sob.

I studied pretty hard. In order to learn this stuff I actually had to sit around my apartment and read a textbook. Without the aid of lectures, labs, or 6 days off between chapters, it was hard to make some of the material stick. I am sure I could have spent more time studying than I did, and if I fail I will feel very guilty about this, but it is probably the hardest I've studied for any one test ever. This is fitting since I am trying to learn 2 full classes worth of material in about 2 weeks. Needless to say, if I pass, my immediate goal will be to go directly to the pub and party like a science nerd.

3:58 pm

I passed!

I received an 80/100 on the exam, raising my score by almost 33% over my first try from an F to a solid B-, making me officially average at science!

I can't really think of anything insightful to say about all this without sounding like a total boast, so I'm going to cut it off right here by saying that I am very proud of myself, and I am looking forward to enjoying my final weekend of freedom by watching the NFL playoffs and silkscreening more t-shirts like the one above.

Thank you for your support.

My New Year's Resolutions: Three Decades of Hope

The Early Years (1979-1989)



Age: 2 months (1979) – Drink less milk/Get more exercise

1 year (1980) – Be more outdoorsy

2 (1981) – Stop shitting in pants*

3 (1982) – Become a cheetah

4 (1983) – Complete training with Master Yoda/Defeat the Empire

5 (1984) – Learn to moonwalk

6 (1985) – Build more pillow forts

7 (1986) – Become a black belt through repeat viewings of The Karate Kid

8 (1987) – Get a tattoo, mohawk

9 (1988) – See an R-rated movie with boobs*

10 (1989) – Drink less chocolate milk/Get more exercise


The Teen Years and Early Adulthood (1990-2000)



Age 11 (1990) – Become an expert Archer

12 (1991) – Obtain Hammer Pants*

13 (1992) – Make out with Mindy

14 (1993) – Make out with Mindy

15 (1994) – Make out with someone*

16 (1995) – Get a job to buy more pot*

17 (1996) – Smoke pot out of a human skull while listening to Gangster Rap/Graduate High school**

18 (1997) – Either incinerate the dorms or bring up grades

19 (1998) – Watch more foreign films; try to use the phrase ‘mise-en-scène’*

20 (1999) – Experiment with open relationships*

21 (2000) – Make out with Mindy


Post-graduation and Careers (2001-2009)



Age 22 (2001) – Give up meat/masculinity*

23 (2002) – Become a teacher

24 (2003) – Write a novel

25 (2004) – Novels are dead. Write a screenplay.

26 (2005) – Purchase a foreclosed house built on someone’s broken dreams

27 (2006) – Become a chess Grandmaster

28 (2007) – Become a Firefighter

29 (2008) – Find direction. Take the time to figure out what you want to do with your life.

30 (2009) – Become a cheetah

...

* Denotes that the resolution was accomplished

** Denotes partial accomplishment

IMAGES:

Top—My nephews, Zach and Noah, on Zach's first day of school. Is there any doubt that Noah's resolution is to defeat Venom?

Middle–Adam, Megan, and Friends (and while not technically teenagers in this photo, I feel that they are channeling an adolescence lost as Megan turned 30).

Bottom–Wedding Portrait of the Greeks in my Grandparents' generation. The second from the right in the back row in my Pappou (Greek for grandpa). His name was John Photos.